Sink-in moment: I got to say your name

It was like any other conversation. Any other day.

Drinks. Food. Friends.

And then I said your name.

I liked the way your name felt safe in my mouth.

Shaping my voice around you - sharing you.

I wasn't expecting it.

But he knew you.

He knew you.

He spoke of you with such appreciation.

And for that brief moment, you were with me.

Sitting beside me with the corners of your bright eyes crinkling and your warm heart shying from the praise.

I got to say your name.

And with it, you became real again.

Until the conversation passed.

And you evaporated.

He could not have known I wanted him to keep speaking of you. So you could have stayed with me a little while longer. In the middle of the restaurant.

But you were there. Briefly. With me.

You were there.

I got to say your name.

What's your current service status?

A new kind of service standards are in order.

Think of the people in your life.

The ones that matter. Really matter.

What kind of service would they say you're delivering?

Do you show up on time? Do you follow through on what you say you will?

Or are you charging more than you're delivering?

Are you exceeding expectations on a regular basis or delivering the bare-bones minimum?

Think on it.

If service is poor, you may want to rethink your service standards.

Before you start losing people...

Just sayin'...

Admittedly not the best shot...but love the message...

Genius

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence

nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius.

Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.

-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Scotland's calling

This photo is from my mother's family collection. It's a fave.

While most people revere politicians or athletes, it's a special kind of place that honours the birthday of a poet. Now that is the kind of celebration I can get behind.

Happy Robbie Burns Day.

Scotland, I will see you soon...

Expected/Unexpected: Super-stylin' parking

Expected: Standard, run of the mill car parking on the side of the road.

Unexpected: A fancy-dancy-multi-level-elevator-style parking lot. Ah, New Yorkers are parking magicians - they can even create space out of thin air (literally)...

Poetry tea... Broken, Unbroken

The lonely

stand in the dark corners

of their hearts.

I have seen them

in cities,

and in my own neighborhood,

nor could I touch them

with the magic

that they crave

to be unbroken.

Then, I myself,

lonely,

said hello to

good fortune.

Someone

came along and lingered

and little by little

became everything

that makes the difference.

Oh, I wish such good luck

to everyone.

How beautiful it is

to be unbroken.

- Mary Oliver

Just sayin'...

Happy day, friend...

B,

Happy *29th-ish* birthday my NY/NJ soul sista!!

Celebrating with you in spirit for a drink and a laugh, Ms. Lady Liberty.

xoxo

S

p.s. I hate that no matter how old we get, you will always be younger than me. Like, forever.

Love & Marriage...go together like...

Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington studied marriage and found that "unless a couple is able to maintain a high ratio of positive to negative encounters (5:1 or greater), it is likely the marriage will end."

*The random photo above was taken by my friend Mariam on a walk through Central Park - I did not have my baby Henry with me!

Dr. Gottman explained he could tell which marriages would last and which would not with 90% accuracy explaining: "for every negative expression (a complaint, frown, put-down, expression of anger) there needs to be about five positive ones (smiles, compliments, laughter, expressions of appreciation and gratitude)."

I'd argue this formula applies to all your important relationships, not simply romantic ones. Much like Stephen Covey's "emotional bank account" concept, in every interaction we can either make a deposit or a withdrawal. While most of us fear making a major withdrawal that can bankrupt an entire relationship, we should be more concerned about the small negative actions, if left unchecked, that can accumulate over time and imperceptibly destroy from within.

In every relationship you value, if you mess up, put the boxing gloves down and start working on what five things you'll do to remedy it. Quick. Before the boxing bell rings at the end of the round. Ok, I'm stopping with the boxing references now...before I start saying something about floating like a butterfly or stinging like a bee...oops... too late.

Deepy deep thought for your Tuesday...

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

- C.S. Lewis

Expected/Unexpected: Fruity goodness

Expected: A fruit stand is a common occurrence on most street corners in Manhattan.

Unexpected: The graphically graceful way this fruit stand displays its prices. A subtle detail but a beautiful one.

Just sayin'...

Be "unselfconscious"

I found an old letter from my Great Aunt Marg (award-winning poet, Margaret Avison) referring to some of my early teenage attempts at writing that my grandmother had shared with her. What she said she loved most about my younger, kid-like writing was the fact that it was "unselfconscious".

I believe for art (any art form) to resonate, it must be honest. It must be true.

But often what is true for us is scary to share, reveal, and open up to the world.

So we tone it down. Dial it up. Change it to fit what we think will be acceptable.

And in so doing, the art is lost. The truth desecrated.

So this year, what would you say. Film. Draw. Write. Photograph. Or build.

What would you create if you were blissfully unaware anyone was looking?

And here's the tricky part. Then you gotta share it.

For art to resonate - it must be unselfconscious.

Fear is a strong force. But here's hoping the artist in you is stronger.

Dab some mercy on somebody today...

The world will give you that once in a while, a brief time out. The boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat up life."

- Sue Monk Kidd

Sexy red & black number

I remember in an interview for my first "grown-up"/office-y job, one of the questions they asked was:

"If you had any amount of money, what car would you buy and why?"

My answer (and I swear, it was entirely truthful at the time) was:

"I would buy a Toyota Tercel. It's all about getting from point A to point B - it's a functional thing for me."

I got the job. I wasn't a car girl then. But somehow, somewhere... something changed. Big time. Apologies, Toyota. But if I could have an interview do-over today, this would be my pick...

Red leather interior? Yes, please.

Poetry tea: Love sorrow

Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must

take care of what has been

given. Brush her hair, help her

into her little coat, hold her hand,

especially when crossing a street. For, think,

what if you should lose her? Then you would be

sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness

would be yours. Take care, touch

her forehead that she feel herself not so

utterly alone. And smile, that she does not

altogether forget the world before the lesson.

Have patience in abundance. And do not

ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment

by herself, which is to say, possibly, again,

abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult,

sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child.

And amazing things can happen. And you may see,

as the two of you go

walking together in the morning light, how

little by little she relaxes; she looks about her;

she begins to grow.

- Mary Oliver

Just sayin'...

Imploring all leaders...

I implore all leaders at all levels - instead of just offering sick days, employees should be allowed read-a-book days.

For those rare times when a book is so compelling. You can literally do nothing else but read it. This is how I feel about a book I just started - Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. It's brilliant. Written from the perspective of a little boy - one line I love so far (and I'm only on page 17!):

"She could tell that I was zipping up the sleeping bag of myself."

C'mon, boss. Introduce read-a-book day. I dare you.

Know no bounds in 2012...

"Do not be bound to an unfitting vocation by practical considerations."

-Author unknown